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A belated valentine blog

Updated: Apr 22

I’m often asked whether I do research before writing steamy scenes.

The answer is of course I do. I read fiction books, visit websites, and attend webinars.

Exploring themes of relationship and sex, I came across a fiery Israeli woman, Limor Bendel, who is a couples' coach and a sexual mentor. Her website is awesome, but it's all in Hebrew. So as a belated Valentine's Day gift, I translated and I'm sharing a few of her pro tips for a better sex life.

First of all, Limor says, sex is all about asking for what you want. Since we’re often too busy or shy, she suggests preparing Ask or Wish cards (like Get out of jail cards, but in a good way) in advance, then using them with our partner.

Here is a sample selection of WISH cards you can use to spice up your sex life:

His Wish card:

I’d love to get a text message from you during the day telling me how much you want me.

Her Wish Card:

Freeze orange juice cubes (or any other flavor), and take it with you to the bedroom. When we make love, roll the frozen cube around my nipple and then lick it with your warm tongue.


When we make love tonight, tell me what you like. I’m open to any fantasy you might suggest.


I'd love it if you pick a sexy song, called me during the day, and played it for me. Then whisper in my ear how you're going to spoil me tonight.


Bring a cup of warm mint tea to our bedroom tonight. When we make love, sip it, and then go down on me with your hot mouth.



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